I go to the Opera

So, I went to an opera. I’m not gonna lie, at first I wanted to go cos I thought an invite to the Opera might look impressive to a young lady. However, that was rejected, for a pretty reasonable reason. But thats OK. Because I went anyways, and it was pretty suh-weet.

What a pimp.

If you haven’t seen Don Giovanni/an opera, I highly recommend it. I thought it was gonna be pretty lame, but turns out people singing everything in another language can still be pretty funny.  Its about this Tucker Max-esque womanizer. Erm, the picture sums it up well I think.

However, it made it abundantly obvious that I am unsuited to such events, some examples:

• After the first half I complained that it ended rather abruptly, and started getting up to leave. Natasha thought I was joking I guess, and said part 2 would complete it. I thought SHE was joking, and asked if it was something like “Don Giovani II: The Reckonging”. Its super crowded in the theatre, erm, immediatey outside (we’re on the 2nd balcony) so I think we’re hanging around for it to uncrowd a bit, so we can leave. At some point the space outside clears (people return to their seats, in retrospect it is all quite obvious) so I say we could probably head out. I get a puzzled look, “what about part II…?” I thought it was over. It was just intermission. I am an idiot.

• The bride’s groom (after Giovanni tries to seduce said bride) is quite angry. She’s trying to calm him down, seductively, going on and on about her “special power” or strength or something that she thinks will calm him down or soothe him or something like that. Jokingly, I lean over and whisper “hey, hey, I think she’s talkin’ about her vaginer”. While yes, it was a whisper, it was later pointed out to me that everyone else around was completely silent, making me rather easy to hear. Normally, that wouldn’t be so bad, but we were surrounded by Opera goers, mostly old. I hope they didn’t hear me, and if they did, that they didn’t feel like… scandalized…

• 

  You can't say vaginer here!

  I wanna see another one, like, this summer.  I’ll behave myself.